On this day I often struggle with feeling adequate as a man and in particular a father. Like I am not doing the best things for my children by giving them barriers to have to live by, which is some thing the world is not going to assert until it’s too late. Personally I hate this day; I have for over 23 years this year. I am trying to learn and live despite the hate and bitterness it all flows from the loss of my father in 1994. Somehow, I am supposed to rejoice over the man who taught me about being a damn hard worker despite the aches and pains of life.
Like any father on Fathers’s day I want to be remembered as a loving a caring man, not a power hungry psycho. I’m sure on the right day if you ask my oldest child, I’m a dictator who couldn’t care any less about anything that doesn’t revolve around me. I guess the greatest gift I got today was the fact my two boys got along despite a few hiccups and name calling, they got along gloriously.
The Gift of God as Father
This is one of many hard days I face each year, Father’s Day and then the holiday season in the fall/winter. But what brings me comfort is knowing I have a heavenly Father who loves me despite myself. 1 John 3:1 is a great verse for us to take hold of and remember when we are struggling with feeling loved. When I am not feeling like a good father, I am reminded of Proverbs 3:11-12, just as the Lord rebukes and disciplines the one He loves I am called to do the same to my boys and they may not like it but in the end it’s for their good.