More Pain, More Grace 

Over the last week I have experienced both, more pain than I thought possible and more grace than I could imagine. For those who do not know I struggle daily with fibromyalgia pain, and take some pretty serious Rx’s to help manage it. Well with that being said, I had to have a spinal tap (lumbar puncture) this past Thursday. In order for me to have this procedure I had to stop some of my medications that help me have a better quality of life than I would have without them. While there are some who would use this as a way to say “See I told you, you don’t need those meds.” My response is this, “I do need these meds, because they cut the edge of the pain I feel and help me to function without wanting to cry all day or vomit every time I eat.” 
It is through the prayers of the saints that I felt the grace of God on me this last week. While being in extereme amounts of pain I was not as bad off as I anticipated. I thought I was going to be laid up in the fetal position crying out to God for Him to end everything, (No exaggeration). It was because of the love of the people in my life who trust in Jesus I was able to function at all this week. I have a great support system of people in my life. There is my family, my church, guys from Bible study and a group of guys on Facebook who also suffer with firbomyalgia. 
The last few days have been a struggle, because I have had to stay laying down (for the most part). I am not the most active guy to begin with but to be told you have to be lazy, made me realize how much I actually do. The pain I have been experienceing the last few days has been different than what I normally go through. It hurt having a needle put in my back I was unsure what to expect with this procedure. The hurt was minimal at first because of the numbing done to my back. I was delirious and almost felt what used to be normal.
Then I took a shower, and felt worse than I have throughout the whole process. In an atttempt to be faithful I got up and went to church this morning and was only able to make it through Sunday School. We tried to have lunch today and the pain was so great I was unable to keep it down. However, God through it all has kept me in ways I never knew possible. I am learning to surrender over to the grace of Christ. It has been this display of grace that helps me to walk closer to Jesus. He alone is my savior and my God. While the Apostle Paul had his thorn in the flesh, I have my health issues. It is my hope though, that by going through this test of my faith, fortitude and so much more, there will be some definitive answers as to what is going on with me. 
We never really know what to expect when we enter a trial. What I can tell you is that if you trust in Christ he will be there with you throughout the entire experience. His grace is more than sufficient for all of my needs, and even my wants (when they line up with His will). 

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