I don’t know if I have mentioned it very much to anyone accept one of my Bible studies. But I often feel like a failure as a father. I feel as though I have turned in to the type of dad I never wanted to be. I wanted to be the cool dad who was always in control.
I have definitely failed in that respect. I yell at them more than I ever wanted to. I have never had a very long fuse and since being diagnosed with fibromyalgia it seems like my fuse is even shorter.
I hate to be disrespected, what man enjoys it especially coming from his own children? But there is one thing I have to keep in mind is, I disrespect the authority of Christ on a daily basis, and did even worse before I was a Christian. Romans 5:8 tells us he died for us while we were still sinners far from him. He took/takes all of my disrespect and still loves me.
I need to learn to be long suffering the same way God is. It is one attribute I wish I had. God tells us he chastises those whom he loves.(Hebrews 12:3-11) I have taken my boys to these verses and shown them what the word of God says about the discipline of God. After showing them this, I explain to them in an effort to be Godly I follow the example He has set, and while it is not pleasant it is for their own good.
No matter how they are disciplined the responses I usually get are to be treated as a monster; or to have temper tantrums thrown because they did not get their way. Along with a lot of screaming on their part of how evil I am. It hurts me to my soul to hear my children speak of me this way. However, I am trying to teach them how to be good men.
I often feel as though I am not setting the best example to them and hope I am not screwing them up for the rest of their life. I have had to change my understanding of discipline over the years because our oldest son has Aspergers and he does not respond to traditional methods of discipline.
I have learned I need to be more gracious and not allow my natural inclinations to take root in my heart. I am far from perfect but the Lord is working on my heart and showing me where I need to change. It is hard to admit, I am not the “world’s best dad” or any other slogan you might find on a t-shirt at father’s day. I am coming to grips with my imperfections and trying to improve them.
Life is still challenging, but there is a God who sits on his throne and sees what I am going through. I believe there is an ultimate purpose to all the struggles I face with these boys. (Romans 8:28) is my life verse and is a comfort in these trying times.
Question: How do you handle discipline in your home?